Lighthouse Keeper

Keeping the lights on to guide you home

recent posts

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

  • The awakening

    The word of the Lord came to me: “What do you see, Jeremiah?”

    “I see the branch of an almond tree,” I replied.

    The Lord said to me, “You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.” (Jeremiah 1:11-13).

    I was admiring a blossom tree in my neighbourhood yesterday. 

    I thought it must have been a fruit tree but turns out, it was an almond.  It got me thinking about Aaron’s budding staff in the Book of Numbers so I had a little scratch around to find out what it all means.

    So Moses spoke to the Israelites, and their leaders gave him twelve staffs, one for the leader of each of their ancestral tribes, and Aaron’s staff was among them. Moses placed the staffs before the Lord in the tent of the covenant law.

     The next day Moses entered the tent and saw that Aaron’s staff, which represented the tribe of Levi, had not only sprouted but had budded, blossomed and produced almonds (Numbers 17:6-9).

    The overarching picture of Jesus is the awakening or resurrection of Jesus and his chosen authority through the priestly line of Aaron in the Old Testament. The dead wood sprouts new life and produces almonds. And it gets better.

    The Hebrew word for almond tree is the same root of “watching” or “watchfulness” that we find in the Book of Jeremiah שׁקד (shaked or shaqed).

    In Jeremiah 1:11-12, God asks the young prophet what he sees. Jeremiah answers that he sees an almond branch (shaked). God replies, “You have seen well, for I am watching (shaked) over my word to perform it”

    It’s the end of winter, start of spring here in New Zealand so the almond tree is the first to “wake up” after the cold winter. The awakening (shaqed in Hebrew). 

    The imagery of ‘watching over’ or ‘presence of God’ is also in the Book of Exodus where the lampstands are being set up in the temple and created to look like almond branches with buds and flowers. Just like the almond blossoms I saw in my neighbourhood. (Exodus 25:31-37). 

    The Hebrew word for presence is panim (פָּנִים), which translates as “face” or face-to-face”so the presence of God, watching, watchfulness, face of God, all ties in together. 

    God is always watching over his Word to perform and fulfill it. I hope you think about that in your prayer time when you are standing on the promises of God or waiting on fulfilment. He is awake and watching.

    That’s just a cool little thing I found in the Bible yesterday. Awakening of the almonds in spring.

  • The Master of time

    lone tree in all seasons

    Then Daniel praised the God of heaven 20 and said:

    “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever;
        wisdom and power are his.

    21 He changes times and seasons;
        he deposes kings and raises up others.
    He gives wisdom to the wise
        and knowledge to the discerning.

    22 He reveals deep and hidden things;
        he knows what lies in darkness,
        and light dwells with him. (Daniel 2:19-22)

    There’s a little kid, about six years old I would say, who comes over from next door to play with my new puppy Rita. 

    He used to just walk into my house. I’ve figured to lock the front door when I hear the school bus coming at 3pm to teach him it’s better to knock and not just wander into strange lady’s houses. 

    So he comes up the steps with his backpack on -which is about the same size as him- and- says he wants to play with Rita. 

    Ask, seek, knock. (Matthew 7:7)

    Childlike faith (Matthew 18:3)

    So far so good. 

    But here’s the thing. 

    When I’ve had enough and I can see that Rita has had enough, I’ll call “time” on the play session. I’m Rita’s Master. I’m the Master of the front lawn of my house and when I say playtime is over, well it’s over. 

    Christians struggle with this concept. Things end. Good things and holy things and God things end. They do. And we all stand around looking back at the answered prayer and the faith journey and the miracle provision and can’t quite figure out how and why the sands are shifting. 

    When the Master of your life, Jesus Christ, calls “time” on something in your life then it’s time to pack up your stuff and head onto the next thing or for some, begin the journey into Eternity. 

    Your body will decay (Acts 13:35).  Jobs and ministries will end. People will move away or die or stop liking you or just fade out. As my friend Edith says “there are no pockets in shrouds”- you can’t take anything with you into Eternity.

    Facing the end of things and surrendering to God’s timing is frightening when you maybe can’t see the path forward or don’t like what you see on the road ahead. If you’re like my six-year old neighbour you will quickly recover from the disappointment but as we age, this process gets harder. 

    So think about your life and the things you have your heart set on that maybe God has a different and better plan for. Things will not go how you think “for who can know the mind of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 2:16).  They won’t. 

    It’s important that when the Master Jesus calls “time” and  is moving forward, you are moving forward with Him. 

  • Dealing with discouragement

    4 Then the peoples around them set out to discourage the people of Judah and make them afraid to go on building.[5 They bribed officials to work against them and frustrate their plans during the entire reign of Cyrus king of Persia and down to the reign of Darius king of Persia.

    6 At the beginning of the reign of Xerxes, they lodged an accusation against the people of Judah and Jerusalem. (Ezra 4:4-6). 

    One of the main ways you will run aground in your Christian walk is through the slow, dripping and frustrating process of discouragement. 

    What begins with enthusiasm and motivation can get worn down into a drudgery as the external voices of criticism become your own thought life and wear you down. 

    I remember when I was working on a very large enterprise social media account for a tech company and there were rumours that we were about to lose the account to a smaller startup. 

    If you’ve ever been around large ad agencies you’ll know this means one thing…redundancies. One of the other women in my little work pod set out to discourage and discredit me so that I would be the first thrown off the life raft and she would keep her job and maybe be assigned to a large credit card company account. Let’s call her *Sarah. 

    Added to this, she was American with conditional work rights for Australia so if she lost her work sponsorship, she would have to leave Sydney and her Aussie boyfriend. There was a lot of motivation for her.

    The jibes went all day and usually when there was an audience to listen to her heckling:

    “Oh do they have computers in New Zealand?”

    “Do they have Spotify in New Zealand? I thought they just listened to Hobbit songs”

    “How many hours will you spend on Twitter today?”

    “Are you going to go home early again today?”

    I would laugh and chuckle along but the character questioning and constant making me feel “less than” was starting to discourage me. 

    It’s the same tactic that was used in the Book of Ezra that was written between 450 and 400 BC. The people of Judah and Jerusalem were rebuilding the temple after the exile. Other groups accused them of trying to evade taxes, set up their own dominion, and make war against the ruling king. Just like Sarah at the ad agency. 

    Frustrated the builders and the workers so they lose their motivation and give up. It’s the same tactic that the Enemy will use to get you out of position, stop you praying, stop you going to church, stop you enjoying the job and children and life that you prayed for. 

    So what’s the solution? Oil. You need oil for your lamp and this can only be purchased from Jesus while He is near. 

    25 “At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 3 The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. 4 The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. (Matthew 25: 1-5)

    There’s a lot going on here but oil can represent the Holy Spirit and your personal devotional life with the Lord. The lamp is your outward ministry or confession (so this blog is my lamp for example) where you shine the light for others. 

    Without oil for your lamp (private devotional and prayer time and worship time with the Lord) your lamp will go out.  You need oil and lots of it for the journey.

    So if you find that you are getting discouraged in your Christian walk, go and get some oil off Jesus. Bring your empty vessel . That’s you. Note I said empty so surrendered you- prepared to listen and obey,  and buy from Him at no price. (Isaiah 55:1, Rev 3:18). 

    There will always be critics and haters and discouragers like Sarah in your world but don’t give them any real estate in your head. Keep building.

    For the record, I did get made redundant from the ad agency, I’ve written about that here, and so did Sarah. She got sent home to the US with no work visa. And yes, we do have computers in New Zealand, and Spotify 🙂

    *Not real names

  • The truth of Thomas

    The Doubting Thomas Caravaggio

    Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

    Thomas said to him, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:24-29)

    The main (perhaps the only) reason I believe in the person of Jesus as God in flesh (John 1:14) is because…it’s true. 

    People make up all sorts of stories about religion as a crutch and a political model. Then they go into religion creating wars (people create wars not religion) all because they are terrified that if they look into the claims of Jesus, they might actually be true. 

    Often people will say to me things like:

    “That’s nice that you have that”

    “It’s a comfort isn’t it?”

    “I don’t have that sort of imagination”

    “I’ve always believed in spiritual things but I’m not into organised religion.”

    When I take antibiotics to treat a skin infection it’s not because I need a crutch or a comfort or a mythological story. The empirical evidence is clear that antibiotics will heal my skin infection. Taking antibiotics doesn’t require a whole bunch of faith and it certainly doesn’t require make-believe. It doesn’t make me a weak person because I seek medical attention or ask a trained expert for help.  You could argue that it’s going into the unseen but the real gap is between the people who have looked into and understand how antibiotics work and those who haven’t. Anti-intellectualism is rampant online with everyone claiming to have the secret formula or the natural therapy or the myth-busting solution. Don’t be led astray. 

    Staying on the skin theme, Jesus invites Thomas in the Book of John to “reach out your hand and put in my side” (John 2-:27). You can’t touch a ghost or a spirit and here Jesus is demonstrating the resurrection body that proves he overcame death.  When Thomas doubted, he wasn’t told by Jesus to use his imagination or even to show faith; he was told to look at the evidence and then to believe based on the evidence. 

    Christians who need constant rollercoaster “presence of God” meetings are really wrestling with doubt like Thomas. The antidote for doubt is not more hyped up God-flavoured meetings. The answer is to sit quietly with God and examine the evidence. 

    Did the events of the Bible really happen? What if they are true and what does that mean for humans and my life here? If Jesus is who he says he is then there must be a heaven. I wonder if that’s a real place?

    Have the courage to look into the claims of the Bible and Jesus so that you’re not building your life on the wrong foundation. 

    The Bible is not a book of horoscopes, it is the living word of God that teaches and encourages us about God and who He is so we can get to know him more. During my search in my early 20’s I also found Lee Strobel’s “The Case for Christ” to be really enlightening as well as CS Lewis “Mere Christianity”, and many others. 

    Seek, explore, touch the scars. Look at the empirical evidence and it will open the door to a new life of freedom and truth.

  • What is my God assignment?

    dog on river trail

     “Go at once to Zarephath in the region of Sidon and stay there. I have directed a widow there to supply you with food.” So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. (1 Kings 17:7-16).

    If you’re like me, you may have spent a lot of time with Jesus asking “What is my assignment? What is my purpose? Why am I here?”

     It’s a huge topic but I’ll give you a little journey through my thinking. 

    First of all, I think of it in terms of macro and micro assignments. 

    So for me the macro assignment comes from Romans 1 in the The Message. This is the big picture that all Christians are called to do. You can rephrase this as ”magnify God” of “make Jesus known” or whatever but I like how it is written in the The Message:

    I, Paul, am a devoted slave of Jesus Christ on assignment, authorized as an apostle to proclaim God’s words and acts. I write this letter to all the believers in Rome, God’s friends. (Romans 1 1-2) The Message 

    Proclaim God’s words and acts. That’s my macro assignment. You will need to spend a lot of quiet time with the Lord seeking his direction around this but it’s well worth the wait because then you will have a clear picture about what you do and don’t spend your time on in this life that is full of distractions.

    Then there’s my micro assignments that happen throughout the day and arrive as daily bread and daily grace. 

    An example of this is the widow of Zarephath who was out gathering firewood. Both Elijah and the widow are given daily, micro assignments in this passage. The widow to feed Elijah and Elijah to go and stay at the region of Zarephath. 

    Last week I was out gathering kindling for my fire with my new rescue American Bull Terrier puppy, Rita. I was actually thinking about the widow of Zarephath as I was gathering my firewood (Paul also gathers firewood after his shipwreck in the book of Acts 28:3-5); a very common, everyday task to do. 

    My puppy Rita started jumping up and down excitedly on this man in his forties who was at the river fly fishing. I apologised and he said it was OK that he loves dogs…then he started to cry. He told me how last week, he had a medical emergency with his Labrador Retriever of 12 years and the dog didn’t make it and died at the after hours vets. He said: “It was the worst day of my life”. 

    Rita continued to slobber all over him and his tears turned to laughter. She was comforting him in his time of mourning for his best friend (Matthew 5:4). I told him that Rita is a Bull Terrier crossed with a Labrador Retriever and that’s why she likes him so much (an exaggeration –she likes everyone) but it put a smile on his face. 

    Maybe that was my (and Rita’s) micro God assignment for the day? To bring joy to someone going through a hard time of grief. 

    Maybe your micro God assignment is to cook a healthy dinner for yourself or bathe your kids or give someone a phone call or hand in a lost wallet. Who knows? And I guess we’ll never know until we get to Heaven how it all stitches together. Simple, everyday things make up 99% of your Christian walk so start looking for the mercies and miracles as you go about your day.  And stop beating up yourself that you’re not doing enough for God. God has macro and micro assignments for everyone.

  • It’s OK to think about yourself as a Christian

    Pour out all your worries and stress upon him and leave them there, for he always tenderly cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7 (TPT)*

    It  sounds wonderfully pious to go around saying that if you fix your eyes on Jesus, then you shouldn’t have to worry about yourself at all. 

    I see this sentiment posted on Instagram and everyone likes it and says: ”Amen! Yes, get your eyes off yourself”- but I have two problems with this. 

    The first one is that it doesn’t reflect the nurturing and caring, Father-heart of God. Imagine if your child came home from school with concerns about the friends or their shoes or their grades or their bike breaking down. Only a careless Father would ignore their child’s concerns and say “Hey-stay on mission. I’m not interested in your cares and concerns”. 

    The position of God throughout the Bible is ‘Come to me (Matthew 11) Return to me (Malachi 3, Zechariah 1). Turn to me (2 Chronicles 7). Cry out to me (Jeremiah 33, Psalm 34) Ask me (Luke 11) Cast your cares on me.(1 Peter 5). 

    In my daily reading today I was in the Book of Chronicles where there is a summary of the life of King Saul. 1 Chronicles 10:13-14. It states that Saul’s life ended in disobedience because he consulted the witch of Endor and didn’t consult God in his time of need. It never said that Saul thought too much about himself or stressed too much or bothered God with too many requests. He didn’t ask God in his time of need. 

    It’s a two-way thing. A conversation between you and God where you pour out your heart before the Lord and ask him as sovereign God. It’s all prayer is.

    The second problem is that there is an anxiety epidemic (20% of Americans have a diagnosed anxiety disorder) and all the Christians are going around telling everyone to simply “not worry”. 

    It is natural and human to worry and have cares and concerns. We are hard wired to survive and process information and formulate strategies to keep us and our loved ones alive. Frankly I think people who say they don’t worry or don’t have stress are kidding themselves and repressing their feelings. They are also often people who don’t take risks and insulate with money and lead very boring, stayed, lives because they have more fear than anyone. Telling someone to not worry shames them as unbelieving and causes more spiralling and negative thoughts as they question and wrestle with their humanity. Basically;that just makes it worse. 

    Living a God-dependent life is scary. As the famous CS Lewis Narnia quote goes: “Course he isn’t safe but he’s good, he’s the king”

    When you scratch the surface of supposedly stress free people you’ll find their security is in their bank account or their husband or wife, or their job, or their relatively good health. The main modern day idols of self reliance.  Take these things away and up go the stress levels. Everyone gets a good shake occasionally. 

    God is very, very concerned with whatever is bothering or troubling you and He wants to hear from you in the prayer room. Talk to him in your humanity and confusion and fear and He will shepherd you through the topsy-turvy life that we lead. 

    It’s ok to think about yourself. It’s human to worry about your kids or your cat or if your car gets stolen. God loves you. 

    He always tenderly cares for you.

  • The hired hand: like and care

    The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. (John 10:12)

    I was watching a podcast the other day where they were talking about the difference between “like” and “care”. 

    The example they gave was of a school teacher who felt bad because he liked certain kids more than others. He liked them at different levels, however his level of care for them remained constant. The school teacher was the true shepherd who cared for the sheep, even if he didn’t like them equally. A hired hand cares nothing and abandons the lambs to the wolves. So you can care for people that you don’t like and vice versa. 

    Social media is all about profile likes and we have started equating attention with liking. Then we get disappointed when our supposed online friends don’t care for us in a crisis. 

    People can like or dislike you to various levels but this is not the same as caring about you. 

    That was a breakthrough for me. 

    I used to have 5000 followers on Twitter and was a big part of the social and online communities. I was invited to influencer events, given free tickets to corporate boxes, and sent new product launches from PR companies. It was a hard lesson that while these people online may have liked me, in a practical sense there were very few who actually cared for me enough to make an effort and pick me up when I  stumbled or needed support. I don’t really see this as a failing on the communities part. I don’t think it’s possible to force yourself to care for everyone and some people simply don’t have the will or the capacity to care for people at that depth. But it was a wake up for me when I had my accident and was live tweeting from St Vincent’s  A and E in Sydney that I was on my own. So what did the Lord do? He sent strangers to care for me. I don’t know whether they liked me or not but I had world class orthopaedic and plastic surgeons and psychiatrists who provided practical assistance when I needed it. Do you see the difference?

    In a church context, with the focus on platform in the modern church, we have a lot of hired hands who care nothing for the sheep. Religious people who may like you and enjoy your company and your following but in a practical sense, they aren’t prepared for to care for you at an individual level. “They care nothing for the sheep”. I’ve experienced this in big churches and small churches. Pastoral care is very unpopular because it is essentially a private ministry that takes a lot from the shepherd and provides no spotlight or immediate reward.  Many religious people are interested in what you can do for them and their church building mission and as Jesus teaches: “Beware the yeast of the Pharisees”(Mark 8:15) – people with an agenda who want to slot you into their church building program. (I have a lot to say about the obsession with church building but I’ll write more about that soon). 

    One thing I have learned over the years, is that intimacy and depth of friendship is very important. You can know a lot of people but will those people be there for you when the chips are down? I now prune away people in my inner circle who don’t have empathy or practical care skills. People who are self absorbed and trauma dump without taking any interest in what might be going on in my world. If it’s all take and no give; I’m not really interested and simply wanting lots of people to like me doesn’t interest me anymore. 

    Jesus likes you and He cares for you because He is the Good Shepherd (John 10, Ezekiel 34) and lays down his life for his sheep. He calls you friend (John 15:15) and wants to have a close relationship with you and provide practical support for his sheep and lambs. Don’t get disappointed with people who don’t show up. Return to the Lord and He will give you people who care and like you and best of all….Himself. 

  • Everyday people

    Living in a small community, it’s interesting how many people you have contact with on a regular day.  On Tuesday, I counted 16 interactions with people on my river walk, neighbours, tradespeople, a district nurse who went to the wrong house. Someone who found my puppy in their yard (yes I now have a rescue dog but more on that later). The simplest and most important command in the Bible is to love God and to love people (Matthew 22:37:39)

    On an ordinary Tuesday in a small town God put in front of me 16 people to love. That’s quite a lot over a year. The longer I journey with God the more I’m convinced that we don’t need to be so ministry and church-project focused and that our work as Christ’s ambassadors (2 Corinthians 5:20) with everyday people out in the world is the main thing. There are many distractions that will keep you off the main thing so it’s important to listen and obey His voice in your everyday life. (1 Samuel 15:22).

    Now before you say “I have enough going on in my life I can’t love 16 people a day” I hear you and I’m the same. I have a very full life and running around fixing everyone’s problems is the last thing I want to do. And God is not asking me, or you,  to do that. 

    The work of the Lord is to believe in Him who was sent (John 6:29).  Remember who He is and take the people before the Lord. So how on earth do you do that?. Like Mary…..we pray. (Luke 10:38-42). 

    I’ve always loved the old saints and how people have found extensive prayer lists in their personal items and prayer closets. 

    A 1B5 school notebook is my new “Prayer Book” where I write lists and names and souls to lift before the Lord. (1 Timothy 2:1). 

    Writing down prayers is really good to remind yourself of God’s faithfulness and also to demonstrate the “bending of the Will” as many of the things I’ve prayed for over the last 12 months haven’t happened the way I thought. His thoughts are not my thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9). 

    So now, I just write down names of people because I couldn’t possibly know all the things going on in their life-but God does. 

    As I sit in my prayer chair and pray through these lists, I’m really believing for “kingdom come” into their lives and for God to comfort them through the many trials we all face. And of course for them to know Jesus and the truth about why they’re here and who their Creator is. 

    I can’t fix everyone. I can’t be Florence Nightingale and Martha and the Little Red Hen and quite frankly, it doesn’t interest me and God’s not asking me to. 

    But He is asking me to bring everyday people before Him and deposit some of the Kingdom into their lives. And this I will do.

  • Sola Scriptura and context

    Sola daisy

    I am writing these things to you about those who are trying to lead you astray. As for you, the anointing you received from him remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit—just as it has taught you, remain in him. (1 John 2:26)

    Everyone is obsessed with “context”. Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s useful but getting into an academic discussion around the historical sociology of ancient Greece before you can have confidence that God is speaking to you through Scripture just creates obstacles to the cross. 

    The Bible is for everyone of all abilities.

    Central to the Reformation is Sola Scriptura (Scripture alone) and it seems fashionable to add a whole lot of somewhat made-up historical context to the Word of God. 

    God can move on one word. He can guide you in the way that you should go (Psalm 32:8) and keep you from stumbling. Don’t ever feel that you don’t have enough Bible knowledge to spend time with God in the living Word. I’m a book learner with a Masters degree and I’m continually humbled by Scripture. Every day I find things in the Bible I’ve never seen before or have zero understanding of. It’s the pilgrimage of a lifetime to gain knowledge of the Word and wherever you start is perfectly fine. Just start and God will speak to you because “my sheep know my voice” (John 10:27) and Jesus delights in revealing the things of the Kingdom to you (Luke 12:32). 

    Invest in a readable, modern language translation of the whole Bible and pray for the Spirit to teach you. 

    Hopefully we don’t need to go through another Reformation.

  • The Lord’s discipline

    In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

    “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
        and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,

    because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
        and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

    Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. (Hebrews 12: 1-7)

    Jesus has been talking to me this morning about discipline from Hebrews 12 and Proverbs 3. 

    No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. (Hebrews 12:11)

    Discipline is evidence that we are sons and daughters of God. 

    So the fruit of a disciplined life is peace and righteousness for the believer. A life that is pleasing to God and releases a harvest of peace. 

    I put on a heap of weight from the anxiety medication I started taking after my accident.

    Much prayer and frustration and a change of doctor put me on a new brew that doesn’t have the same metabolic effects. So I signed up to Weight Watchers (not an ad) and lost 30 kilograms over about 18 months. It required discipline to keep to my daily “points” budget and I fell off the wagon a few times but the results did come. 

    Slowly I’m learning that if I blow my ‘points’ budget, the weight will creep back on and undo my disciplined effort. I complained to God: “it’s not fair! Why do I put on weight so easily!”. 

    But the Lord disciplines those he loves. There is less pressure on my joints. My heart doesn’t have to work so hard. My HBA1C numbers are low (diabetes test). I had a whole bunch of tests done and today; I’m very healthy. I bought new clothes and everything fits better but to be honest, that’s secondary to the health benefits. 

    My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart,

    for they will prolong your life many years

    and bring you peace and prosperity. (Proverbs 3: 1-2)

    God wants to prolong my years and keep me healthy. God doesn’t want me to suffer with heart disease and diabetes and joint pain. So I stay on the Weight Watchers. Even when I wrestle and eat potato chips and ice cream and want to give up God says “ let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2)

    This is the race marked out for me. It is unique to me and I can’t compare myself to other people or protest that I’m not a size 8 donut eater. 

    His discipline is evidence of sonship (or daughtership in my case–is that a word?) and only He knows the road ahead so again I must surrender and trust and get back on the chicken salads. He is good.